3 Ways to Maintain Connection with an Emerging Adult Living Away from Home

As your emerging adult steps into the world —whether they’re attending college, starting a new job, or exploring their independence—physical distance can bring about an emotional shift in your relationship. Living away from home is an exciting time for them to learn more about themselves, but it can also make staying connected with family more challenging. This transition doesn’t mean you’ll drift apart; with a few intentional steps, you can maintain a meaningful connection and show that you’re a source of support and stability as they embark on this new phase of life.

Below are three practical ways to stay connected with your emerging adult, offering both support and respect for their newfound independence.

1. Stay Connected with Regular, Respectful Communication

Communication is the backbone of maintaining any relationship, and staying connected with your emerging adult involves a balance of reaching out while respecting their independence. Regular check-ins allow you to stay involved in their life, share experiences, and provide support, all without making them feel micromanaged.

Ways to Approach Communication:

• Establish a Consistent Communication Routine: Agree on a regular check-in schedule that works for both of you. Whether it’s a weekly phone call, a bi-weekly FaceTime, or a simple text check-in, setting up a routine creates predictability, allowing them to anticipate and prepare for your conversations. It also gives you the chance to share updates from home and offer encouragement or advice as they share their experiences.
• Respect Their Schedule: Your emerging adult’s schedule might be packed with classes, work, and social activities, so being flexible about when you communicate can help avoid unintentional stress. If they don’t respond right away, give them some grace. A quick message like, “No rush, just checking in to say hello!” shows you care without making them feel pressured.
• Focus on Meaningful Conversation: When you do talk, aim for deeper, supportive conversations that build on your relationship. Instead of sticking solely to questions like “How’s school?” or “How’s work?” try open-ended questions like, “What’s something exciting that happened this week?” or “What’s been the most challenging part of your week?” This opens the door to honest sharing and lets them know you’re genuinely interested in their life.

Being intentional and respectful with your communication reinforces that you’re there for them, but also gives them the space to grow into their independence.

2. Show Interest in Their New Life and Celebrate Milestones

Emerging adulthood is full of “firsts” and new experiences. Showing genuine interest in your young adult’s new life builds connection and lets them know you’re cheering them on. Celebrating milestones—both big and small—demonstrates pride in their achievements and reminds them they have a support system rooting for them.

How to Show Interest and Celebrate Milestones:

• Ask Questions about Their Experiences: When you check in, ask questions about their classes, job, or social life. If they’ve taken up new hobbies or joined a group, showing curiosity and asking how things are going can keep you in the loop. You might ask, “How did your first day of work go?” or “What’s your favorite part of your new city?” These questions show you’re invested in their growth.
• Celebrate Achievements: Take time to acknowledge their achievements, whether they’re academic, professional, or personal. A quick text, a celebratory phone call, or even sending a small care package can make a significant difference. For example, if they recently completed a big project or received a promotion, sending a thoughtful message like, “I’m so proud of you! Your hard work is paying off!” reinforces your encouragement and support.
• Find Ways to Stay Involved in Their Interests: If they’re into something new, like a particular sport, music, or hobby, do a little research or ask them to explain it to you. Expressing an interest in what they’re passionate about shows you’re invested in who they’re becoming. A simple statement like, “I’d love to hear more about the music festival you’re attending!” or “That new sport sounds interesting—tell me about it!” shows genuine interest and can lead to shared excitement.

Celebrating their journey reminds them that, even though they’re away, you’re still part of their cheering section.

3. Be a Supportive, Nonjudgmental Listener

As they step into independence, your emerging adult will face new challenges and decisions. They may share thoughts and experiences they haven’t before, and while you might not always agree with their choices, being a supportive, nonjudgmental listener can help them feel safe opening up to you. This helps maintain trust, ensuring that they view you as a stable and understanding figure they can turn to.

How to Listen Supportively:

• Provide a Safe Space for Sharing: Give them the freedom to express their thoughts and experiences without fearing criticism. If they’re navigating tricky situations—like managing a difficult roommate or facing challenges at work—listen to their perspective without jumping in to fix things immediately. Statements like, “I can understand why that would be hard,” or “Thanks for sharing that with me; I’m here if you need any advice,” show that you’re listening without judgment.
• Avoid Over-Questioning or Problem-Solving: Parents often instinctively offer solutions when a child expresses concerns. However, young adults benefit from learning to work through challenges independently. Instead of solving problems for them, try asking guiding questions, like “What do you think might work in this situation?” or “How would you like to handle that?” This lets them practice problem-solving while knowing they have your support.
• Celebrate Their Efforts, Even When They Struggle: It’s common for emerging adults to face setbacks, whether in academics, work, or personal relationships. When they share disappointments or frustrations, validate their feelings and acknowledge their efforts. Phrases like, “I’m proud of you for handling this on your own” or “I know it’s tough, but I admire your resilience,” can be incredibly affirming.

Listening non judgmentally encourages them to share openly with you, which keeps the lines of communication strong even from a distance.

Maintaining a meaningful connection with your emerging adult while they’re living away from home requires a combination of thoughtful communication, interest in their journey, and a nonjudgmental approach. While it’s natural to miss having them close, this phase offers an opportunity to evolve your relationship into one based on mutual respect and support.

Through regular, open communication, showing interest in their milestones, and listening with empathy, you can reinforce your bond and remind them that they always have a trusted confidant and supporter back home. This balance of closeness and independence not only strengthens your connection but also empowers them to thrive in this exciting new chapter of their life.