How do Peers Influence Emerging Adulthood?

We define “emerging adulthood” as the stage post high school through independent (both physically and financially) adulthood. During this time in their lives, peer influence plays a crucial role in shaping the values, decisions, and behaviors of your son or daughter. Understanding how peer influence operates and how parents can guide their emerging adults through this process is important to supporting their growth and independence.

The Power of Peer Influence

Peers are an integral part of social development during teen years and into emerging adulthood. As young adults begin to distance themselves from parental oversight, they often turn to friends, colleagues, and social networks for validation, guidance, advice, and companionship.

Peer influence can manifest in several ways, including:

• Decision-Making: Friends may impact choices regarding education, career paths, and relationships.
• Lifestyle Habits: Emerging adults often adopt similar behaviors, such as fitness routines, hobbies, or social activities, to fit in or bond with their peers.
• Beliefs and Values: Exposure to diverse perspectives through peers can shape or challenge existing beliefs, encouraging critical thinking and growth.

While peer influence can have positive effects, it may also lead to risky behaviors or unhealthy decisions.

Why Peer Influence is Stronger in Emerging Adulthood

There are a few reasons why peer influence is so critical to them at this stage, including:

Identity Exploration
Emerging adults are actively shaping their identities, making them more susceptible to external influences. They are continually asking themselves, “Who am I?” Peers provide a sense of belonging and validation during this time of self-discovery.

1. Increased Independence
   With less parental oversight, young adults rely more on their social circles for guidance and support. Friends often become their primary confidants and role models.
2. Shared Experiences
   Emerging adults are often in similar life stages—navigating college, entering the workforce, or exploring relationships—which strengthens peer bonds and shared decision-making.

Positives of Peer Influence

By now all peer influence is negative; it can serve as a powerful force for growth and development. Here are some of the benefits:

1. Encouragement and Support
   Friends can offer emotional support during challenging times, like when they are adapting to a new job or recovering from a breakup.
2. Exposure to Diversity
   Interacting with peers from different backgrounds encourages open-mindedness and cultural awareness.
3. Motivation to Succeed
   Positive peer influence can inspire young adults to achieve their goals, whether through academics, career advancement, or healthy habits.
4. Skill Building
   Collaborative activities with peers, like group projects or social events, help them develop teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills.

Addressing Negative Peer Influence

Yes, there are benefits and yet, peer influence can sometimes lead to undesirable behaviors (underage drinking or excessive marijuana use, gambling or sports betting). As a parent, you can help your emerging adult through these challenges without overstepping their independence.

1. Teach Critical Thinking
   Encourage them to evaluate the motivations and consequences of peer behaviors. Questions like, “How does this align with your goals?” or “What might happen if you go along with this decision?” can help them learn to self-reflect.
2. Model Healthy Relationships
   You’re still the most influential role model in their lives. Demonstrate the importance of choosing supportive, trustworthy friends by sharing your own experiences with meaningful relationships.
3. Discuss Boundaries
   Help them recognize when to set boundaries with peers who pressure them into uncomfortable or unsafe situations.
4. Stay Involved Without Controlling
   Maintain open lines of communication so they feel comfortable seeking your advice when needed. Avoid judgment or criticism, this may discourage them from turning to you in times of need.

Balancing Peer Influence with Parental Guidance

While peer influence is significant during emerging adulthood, parents still play a key role in guiding their emerging adult’s growth. Here are a few ideas on how to strike a balance:

1. Foster Open Communication
   Create a safe space for your son/daughter to share their thoughts and experiences without fear of judgment. Listen actively and validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with their choices.
2. Encourage Self-Reflection
   Help them assess how their friendships and social circles impact their well-being and decisions. Ask questions like, “Do you feel supported by your friends?” or “How do you think this relationship influences your choices?”
3. Promote Independence
   While offering guidance, avoid micromanaging their relationships or decisions. Trust their ability to navigate challenges while reminding them that you’re always available for support.
4. Celebrate Positive Peer Influence
   Acknowledge and celebrate when they build healthy, supportive relationships or make decisions inspired by positive role models. This reinforces the value of good peer connections.

Peer influence is a natural and impactful part of emerging adulthood, shaping everything from decision-making to personal identity. You can help them leverage positive peer influence while navigating challenges effectively.

Your role as a parent shifts during this phase—from directing their choices to guiding and empowering them to make their own. Together, you can build a foundation of trust and resilience that supports their growth into confident, independent adults.