How to Have Tough Conversations with Your Emerging Adult

As parents, we often find ourselves facing difficult conversations with our children, especially as they transition into emerging adulthood. Whether it's discussing sensitive topics like relationships, or financial responsibility, having tough conversations requires empathy, patience, and effective communication skills. Here are some tips and strategies for navigating tough conversations with your emerging adult, welcoming open dialogue, and strengthening your relationship in the process.

Understanding the Importance of Tough Conversations:

Tough conversations are an important aspect of parenting, providing opportunities for growth, learning, and connection. While these discussions may be uncomfortable or challenging, they play a crucial role in helping your emerging adult navigate the complexities of life and develop essential skills and insights. Parents can impart valuable wisdom based on life experiences they’ve had that enable their emerging adult to avoid some of the problems that can arise in the adulting stage.

By talking through difficult topics like sex, money, relationships, and alcohol and drug use, you demonstrate your commitment to your emerging adult’s well-being and growth, building trust, understanding, and resilience. These conversations also provide valuable opportunities to address issues proactively, prevent misunderstandings, and strengthen your bond with your emerging adult.

Preparing Yourself Mentally:

Before engaging in a topic or conversation that may make you feel uncomfortable with your emerging adult, take the time to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. Recognize these discussions may create strong emotions, both for you and your emerging adult, and be prepared to manage them calmly and compassionately.

Reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and biases regarding the topic at hand, and try to approach the conversation with an open mind and empathetic attitude. Remind yourself your primary goal is to show understanding, support, and growth, rather than to impose judgment or control.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment:

Setting the stage for a tough conversation involves creating a safe and supportive environment where your emerging adult feels comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly. Choose a quiet, private setting free from distractions, where both of you can speak and listen without interruption.

Start the conversation by expressing your love, concern, and willingness to listen without judgment. Assure your emerging adult that their thoughts, feelings, and experiences are valid and important to you, and that you are there to support them unconditionally.

Practicing Active Listening:

Effective communication is essential for navigating tough conversations successfully, and active listening plays a key role in this process. Practice active listening by giving your full attention to your emerging adult, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding distractions such as phones or other devices.

Listen attentively to what they have to say, without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Encourage them to express themselves fully and honestly, and validate their feelings and perspectives, even if you don't necessarily agree with them.

Expressing Empathy and Understanding:

Empathy is a powerful tool for building connection and trust, especially during tough conversations. Express empathy by acknowledging and validating your emerging adult's emotions and experiences, even if you haven't personally experienced them yourself.

Demonstrate understanding by reflecting back what you've heard, paraphrasing their words, and asking clarifying questions to ensure you fully grasp their perspective. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their feelings, and refrain from offering unsolicited advice or solutions unless asked.

Fostering Collaboration and Problem-Solving:

Tough conversations often revolve around challenging issues or conflicts that require collaboration and problem-solving to resolve. Approach the conversation as a collaborative effort, rather than a confrontation, and strive to find mutually agreeable solutions together.

Focus on identifying common goals and interests, brainstorming possible solutions, and exploring alternatives with an open mind. Encourage your emerging adult to actively participate in the problem-solving process, empowering them to take ownership of their decisions and actions.

Following Up and Offering Support:

After the discussion has concluded, follow up to check in on how they're feeling and how they're coping with the discussion a little while later. Reiterate your support and willingness to help them navigate any challenges or obstacles they may encounter.

Offer practical support and resources as needed, whether it's connecting them with a therapist or counselor, providing guidance on how to access relevant information or services, or simply being there to listen and offer encouragement.

Having tough conversations with your emerging adult is an inevitable and essential aspect of parenting. By approaching these discussions with empathy, patience, and effective communication skills, you can create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels heard, understood, and valued.

These discussions provide opportunities for growth, learning, and connection. By navigating them with compassion and openness, you can strengthen your relationship with your emerging adult and help them steer through the complexities of life with confidence and resilience.