Reconnecting with Your Emerging Adult Through Emotional Awareness
Feb 10, 2025
As Generation X parents, many of us grew up in a time when emotions weren’t exactly front and center in our households. Big feelings like sadness, anger, or frustration were often brushed aside, minimized, or outright ignored—not out of malice but because our parents weren’t equipped to handle them.
Fast forward to today, and many of us have unknowingly repeated these patterns with our own kids. Maybe we said things like:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You’re fine, stop crying.”
- “It’s not that big of a deal.”
We thought we were helping, but for our kids, these moments felt like rejection. And now, as they’ve grown into emerging adults, some are coming back to us with anger or frustration, expressing that they didn’t feel seen or heard as children.
If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable with your child’s big emotions or found yourself trying to dismiss, minimize, or fix their feelings, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.
But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to repair and rebuild emotional connections with your emerging adult children.
Here’s how to start:
1. Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
When your emerging adult shares how they felt growing up, resist the urge to defend your actions. Instead, listen with empathy and acknowledge their experience. Say things like:
- “I hear you, and I’m sorry you felt that way.”
- “I wasn’t aware of how my words affected you, but I see it now.”
2. Be Honest About Your Own Journey
Share your own experiences growing up and how those shaped your parenting style. Be vulnerable about your own struggles with emotions. For example:
- “When I was growing up, I didn’t know how to handle big feelings because they weren’t encouraged in my home. I realize now that I carried some of that into my parenting, and I’m working on it.”
3. Rebuild with Patience and Consistency
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Consistently showing up, listening, and validating their emotions will go a long way in rebuilding trust. Let them see that you’re committed to making changes—not just in words but in actions.
Parenting isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about showing up and doing the work to create stronger, more connected relationships. If you’re navigating this with your emerging adult, remember that every effort you make to listen, validate, and repair can bring you closer together.
