You have learned and processed a great deal of information in the weeks since we began this program together. Looking back at your own childhood was the first important step to understanding why your teenager sometimes triggers you when they don’t listen or when they do something you don’t agree with.
We gain perspective when we can mentally stand back and take the time to pause before reacting, our response has the ability to come from love and connection, rather than fear and control (which then usually results in greater disconnection).
You now fully understand how much our teens need us to guide them through this critical stage of development rather than try and control their every move, or to bail them out of every jam they get themselves into. It’s in the struggles where they (and we) build grit, resilience, and character. Supporting our kids through the tough stuff of adolescence (without doing for them) is sometimes difficult to watch as their loving parent, but it is part of growing up into mature young adults able to make choices, take chances, and deal with the consequences life brings their way.
As I mentioned in the very first video, there are FIVE key ingredients to continuing this harmonious journey with your son or daughter. Can you guess what they are?
The key tenants to keeping you centered on the parenting journey through adolescence include having faith, remaining calm, developing courage, finding patience, and both giving and receiving grace.
Having faith, instituting a solid routine of self-care, and believing things will work out for your child’s highest calling gives you the freedom to realize you are not in control of what your child’s journey is all about. Whether you subscribe to a particular organized religious belief or not, understanding there is a purpose greater than ourselves at work in the Universe will help you to stand by, but not step in, your child’s path as they walk from preteen to teen to young adult.
Remaining calm when the challenges of raising an adolescent enter your parenting journey will greatly help you navigate the waters and support/encourage them through this transition from child to adult. The end goal of parenting with our children is to build small moments of connection and harmony so when life does get rocky we can handle it with grace and confidence. Remember, when we react harshly we are not likely to achieve an outcome in the long run that will build a healthy relationship with our son or daughter in adulthood.
Developing the courage to make changes and to listen to your inner wisdom instead of being sucked into the messages of the outside world will take practice but we are given gut instinct for a good reason. You have shown tremendous courage over the past several weeks! Please know that it has been my privilege to share this learning with you and to support your transformation! The answers to all of life’s challenges lie within us, we just need to get quiet enough to listen to our truth and live it out.
Finding patience to support your child through the physical, emotional, academic, social, and spiritual changes the teen years impart will be of great service to you…along with a solid sense of humor! Remember, whatever they are going through at this moment IS a big deal to them, be nearby to listen without judgment, to encourage without doing for them what you know they are capable of doing for themselves.
Giving grace to yourself and others doesn’t mean you are automatically forgetting what’s been said or done, and remember all you have learned about parenting in this course and through our individual sessions is a practice. It’s ongoing, but I believe in you!
It’s time for our final exercise! Grab your pen and journal and let’s get to it!